Weird Stuff My Wife Said in Her Sleep when She Became a Nurse

I stumbled upon a log I had kept of all the funny things Kyla used to say and do in her sleep when she first became a nurse. “J” = me, “K” = Kyla.

#1: Secret Ambition

K: “The green area is a lot.”
J: “What?”
K: “There are a lot of people who are green right now. Does that make sense?”
J: “No.”
K: “There are a lot of people who are green right now, so I could be charge nurse.”

#2: The Wrong Prescription

I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night with a cold washcloth on my forehead.
J: “What the hell?”
K: “I’m taking care of you!”
She was in the bathroom by the sink, getting another washcloth ready to go.

#3: The Rock Thing

K: “You can go back to the rock thing if you want me to stay here.”
By “rock thing,” maybe she meant Rock Band, as she frequently fell asleep on the couch as I played Rock Band.

#4: It’s a Dirty Job, but …

K: “It’s right there.”
J: “What’s right here?”
K: “The hose. Use it.”

#5: The Good Wife

K: “Give me a minute and I’ll get back there.”
J: “Get back where?”
K: “In the kitchen.”

#6: Chained Maladies

K: “What am I fixing?”
J: “What?”
K: “I thought you wanted me to fix a chain or something … ”

#7: This is How the World Ends

K: “There should be many, many more.”
J: “More what?”
K: “Bowel movements.”

#8: They’re Multiplying!

K: “If you want you can put those two plates in the bathroom.”
J: “What plates?”
K: “The plates that are up here. There was one and now there’s two.”

#9: I Don’t Think I Want to Know

K: “Is this okay?”
J: “Is what okay?”
K: “Wasn’t I supposed to hold it like that?”

#10: Christmas in July

K: “Hey, so I take the pill for staying here?”
J: “The pill for staying here?”
K: “Yeah, so it doesn’t snow.”
J: “…”
K: “So are you going to get it for me?”

#11: Ew, Sticky

K: “What is that on the wall?”
J: “Huh?”
K: “Oh, it’s a popsicle stick. How’d that get there?”

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